


The Kiss // Percico

by Selina_writeslmao



Category: Percico - Fandom, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Annabeth Chase - Freeform, Aphrodite - Freeform, Ares - Freeform, Athena - Freeform, Boy×Boy, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Drama, Eventual Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, FF, Fanfiction, Fluff, Gay, Ghost King Nico di Angelo, Greek gods, Grover - Freeform, Hades - Freeform, Hera - Freeform, Hermes - Freeform, LGBTQ, M/M, Minor Annabeth Chase/Piper McLean, Nico di Angelo - Freeform, Nico di angelo and percy jackson - Freeform, Percico - Freeform, Percico Angst & Fluff Month 2020, Percy Jackson fanfiction, Percy/Nico - Freeform, PercyJackson, Pipabeth - Freeform, Poseidon - Freeform, Silena Beauregard - Freeform, Thalia Grace - Freeform, Will Solace - Freeform, Zeus - Freeform, clarisse la rue - Freeform, ghost king, nicodiangelo, percy jackson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selina_writeslmao/pseuds/Selina_writeslmao
Summary: kiss/kɪs/verb1.touch or caress with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, or greeting."he kissed him on the lips"Similar:Brush one's lips againstblow a kiss toair-kisspeckgive a peck togive a smacker tosmoochnoun1.a touch or caress with the lips."a quick kiss on the cheek"
Comments: 10
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

What meanings does a kiss have? An actual one. One, where all the amount of comfort, love and desire, addiction, romance, happiness and the luck are within in this single gesture. 

Sometimes, a kiss is totally platonic. For example; when you make out with someone for fun. Your heart doesn't beat fastly, your stomach doesn't do the exciting flips and all you usually feel is the desire after human touch by anyone. In that situation, it doesn't matter if you actually love someone.

Then, there is the other situation. A moment, where time is completely frozen while this so badly wanted touch is happening and you forget everyone else around you. The world seems to blur within and only the person who gives you your desired touch is important. Love, desire, passion, everything in one single movement. One single situation, which can change your life. 

After that happened, you start to feel this growing feeling in your stomach again. You wish you could turn back time to repeat what was going on a few seconds ago, and you can. The moment, the realization finds you and it hits you hardly in the face. This person, which shared this important touch with you and feels the same stomach flip, passion, addiction, desire, happiness, comfort and luck is yours. They actually love you back.

But, what even is love? Do we know that? It could mean so many things and there are a thousand words to describe this one special feeling. 

Is it like the extreme feeling of attachment, affection, and need to constantly hold this person? Or is it maybe even respect?  
Well, you see.  
Romantic love, with your match, should be based on all the named factors. It isn't just something irrelevant or ,,normal''. I personally think it's the entire opposite. 

There are exactly five stages of falling in love.  
Firstly, you feel a strange attraction towards another person, but deny that it is more than friendship.  
Secondly, you try to suppress the surprising jealousy you didn't expect to have and carry on thinking it's only a good and happy friendship.  
Thirdly, the realization. You suddenly realize that this one person could make you more happy than ever before. You feel like your stomach do backflips when they walk by and your mood lifts up.  
Fourthly, you fell. Feelings and desires you can not explain appear and all you do is thinking about that significant other. 

When you see the person, you love  
When you see them, and you just know: that is something great  
That is something that a lot of people don’t get to feel, and you should be very very thankful that you’re able to feel that way.  
If you’re able to get that person, be even more thankful  
People spend their whole lives thinking that’s the right person.

I said five stages, didn't I? Well you see. I am not a really positive person. So here is my stage five.  
Fifth, your heart gets broken.

Love, can be the best and the worst thing ever happening to you. 

This is me, Nico Di Angelo, seventeen years old and irrelevantly in love with someone who probably can't even spell my name.  
Someone who probably doesn't even care, or notice.  
Someone, who would never like a person with the looks and the personality like me.

Don't get me wrong, I understand, that I will end up lonely forever with this way of thinking, but I also know I am right.

Firstly, the person I like is a boy, who is as straight as a goddamn stick, while I am as straight as the spine of someone with scoliosis.

Secondly, he got a girlfriend.

Thirdly, his name is Percy fucking Jackson.


	2. Chapter 2

surprise  
/səˈprʌɪz/

noun

1.  
an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, etc.

~ ~ ~ 

''Urgh.. Shit.'' I groan as soon as I sit up in my bed in cabin three and look around mischievously.

I can't remember anything from yesterday, to be honest. What day is it even today? Am I still alive or is this the underworld again? 

While pressing one hand against my temple, I place my feet on the floor for getting myself to stand up. Unsuccessful.

''Gods, what happened?'' 

Then the realization comes in.  
The mission and the fact that I got knocked out slowly start to find its way into my mind. Another groan comes from my chest up, and out of my mouth, which is grimacing because of the sudden pain in shoulders. 

''Looks like the sleeping princess has finally awaken.'' I hear a voice laughing quietly and title my head into the direction.  
''Right.'' I grin a bit at Tyson, who is sitting on the floor next to his bunk bed and is reading out of a book, which title my dyslexia doesn't allow to read at all because it isn't showing completely. 

''How is your shoulder?'' Tyson looks up at me as I try to move my arm carefully.  
''It's just tensed up.'' I thrift my teeth when the pain shoots through my muscles and I grimace again.

''Totally,'' He smirks sarcastically. ''You should either find some water and heal yourself, or go to Will so that he can help you.'' 

''Probably.'' I show him a smile before standing up completely and putting my gray hoodie on, which is lying on the floor in front of my bed.  
''Oh, come on,'' I look down on myself and notice how several holes are inside of it. ''That was my favourite.'' 

''Why would you wear a hoodie to a mission, though?'' Tyson laughs loudly and ends up in snorting quite fast, from what I glare at him in annoyance.  
''Because it's comfortable.'' I just let out in a sigh and start walking towards the door of our cabin.  
''It's four in the morning, where are you going?'' Tyson raises an eyebrow at me, but I already pull the door open.

Shivers are spreading all over my skin the moment the cold air is finding its way to me and I breathe in deeply. While the door is closing behind me, I close my eyes and let the cold and wet air stroke over me quietly.  
Some would say it feels uncomfortable, but I think it can be freeing. 

As soon as the moment passes by, I open my eyes again and find my way downstairs and to the edge of the cliff in our camp, which is above the water.  
To be honest, I didn't heal myself or anything else yet.

Enjoying the moment, I wince when a noise comes from the bushes.

What?

I turn around in surprise and breathe out as I recognize the person which caused the noise. Relief fills me when I show them a smile. 

The black, slightly curly hair, the chocolate brown eyes with dark circles under them, the usually dark clothing and the kind of worried look on his face.  
Nico Di Angelo. I would always recognize this Zombie Dude. 

Wait- this is just a normal description, right? Nothing special about it. I am just overthinking my thoughts again. Gods, I am a mess.

''Hey.'' I clear my throat when not a single word comes from my company.  
Nico seems to wake up out of his weird stare at me.

Was he staring at me? Or behind me? Is there something on my face?

''Hi.'' He lets out silently and looks away to the ground before sitting down a bit behind me.  
''You okay?'' I ask carefully and grin brightly when he nods agreeingly.  
''Yeah, thanks.'' He goes quiet again and I turn around to sit into his direction. 

Something is up with Nico. He seems incredibly tired and exhausted. His hairs are messy and his eyes are in a constant empty glance at a random point. His answers aren't better. Nico's voice is cold and nearly emotionless while his smile also seems to be forced.  
I want to help him so bad, but I don't know what's wrong or how to even ask him. I feel so helpless. I never felt like this before!

''Are you sure?'' My voices cracks slightly at the last word and Nico glances up again. He doesn't look into my eyes, though.  
''Yeah.'' Nico answers quietly and I leave it be.

If he doesn't want to talk, that is okay. I won't pressure him. I know, how bad that feels. 

''Alright. What are you doing here?'' I change the subject and Nico leans back into the wet grass.  
''I like to watch the sunrise.'' Nico exclaims and I grin widely.  
''Really? Me too.'' I carry on smiling while sticking my fingers unconsciously through the torn holes of my sweater.  
''Mhm.'' He mumbles and I don't even notice that I have been watching him the entire time.

Gods, what is my problem? I should be thinking and acting about Annabeth like this. Annabeth, my girlfriend.  
Nico's just a friend. Simply a friend. A homie, a bro, a dude. Nothing more.  
Annabeth is the person I love. Nothing more, nothing less.  
Why do I even compare them?

The silence slowly starts to feel weirdly tightening and my urge to move or say something is growing more and more with every second which passes by.

''Percy?''


	3. Chapter 3

confusion  
/kənˈfjuːʒ(ə)n/  
noun

1.  
uncertainty about what is happening, intended, or required.

~ ~ ~

''Percy?'' I turn to the direction the voice is coming from, while Nico just narrows his eyes slightly.  
Like I wouldn't have seen that. Pfft.

''I'm here.'' I exclaim and already see the blonde ponytail of my girlfriend appearing in front of me. 

She inspects Nico a few seconds before her view is fully focused on me again.

''What are you doing here at this awfully early time?'' Annabeth doesn't even bother to sit down next to me and just places her hands on her hips, which gives her a strict appearance.  
''I...uh. Woke up?'' I laugh hysterically and see how now Annabeth and Nico are staring at me in confusion. 

''How are your shoulders?'' My girlfriend changes the subject, as soon as she seems to realize that Nico is rising his eyebrows at me suspiciously, and finally sits down next to me.  
''Yeah, Percy. How are your shoulders?'' Nico smirks mischievously and I can't avoid a small grin at that.

Our eyes meet and for a few seconds, it seems like the time is still.  
Almost forgetting Annabeth is still there, she pushes me playfully and I am back in reality.  
''What?'' I title my head and glance at her, still feeling Nico's stare in my back.

''We'll talk when you are fully awake, Seaweed brain.'' Annabeth presses a kiss on my cheek before standing up again and walking towards the path and back to the middle of the camp while waving into my direction.

''I'll never understand girls.'' Nico lies back down on the grass and chuckles slightly.

By the sound of his small laugh, I feel chills appearing all over my body. It is like the perfect mixture of heat and cold slightly running on my skin and finding its way into my head.  
All in all, my cheeks are flushing from a sound. A goddamn sound. A voice.

''Me neither.'' I breathe out and feel the heat in my face rise even more. 

What is wrong with me?!

''Huh? I mean I'll never understand girls because of my gay ass. You don't really look gay to me.'' His laugh lightens up again. This time, a bit less confident at the end of his sentence.  
''Oh. Yeah. I don't.. uh... really label myself yet. I didn't have enough experience to do that, I think...'' I gulp heavily and look away to the ground.

''So, you're not straight?'' Nico's voice sounds again with that adorable- nice - chuckle at the end of his sentence.  
''I don't label myself... so, I guess not?'' I laugh awkwardly and still carry on keeping my head down.  
''Welcome to the LGBTQIA+ then.'' 

I hear how Nico is moving behind me and I turn around. Facing the boy, who's pretty brown eyes are studying me carefully.  
What? I can call people pretty! Watch me! Annabeth is pretty, Grover is pretty, Leo is pretty, Nico is really pretty, Will is pretty. See? I can call everyone I want pretty! HA!

''What?'' Nico smirks confused as he notices my staring at him and I fastly glance away.  
''Sorry, what?'' It slips out of me and I look back to him.  
''Huh? I didn't say anything.'' Nico stands up and holds his hand into my direction for an attempt to help me stand up. 

''Yes you did.'' I grab his hand and stand up, through what I stumble a little.  
''Well, what did I say then.'' He smiles warmly.  
''What.'' I nearly shout and could slap myself for it.  
''What?'' Nico raises his eyebrows.  
''What.'' I repeat myself and don't even notice how I am still holding his hand.  
''What what?'' He carries on looking me straight in the eye while I try to avoid looking back.  
''Oh, shut up.'' I laugh and let go of his hand awkwardly. Sensing an odd feeling in my hand right after that.

''Don't get too kinky, Jackson.'' Nico grins naughtily and the red flushes back into my cheeks.  
''What?''  
''What?'' 

I roll my eyes overdramatically and snort a small bit.

''See ya later, Percy.'' Nico chuckles repeatedly and takes several steps backwards before turning around fully and walking away the same path like Annabeth did before him.

What did just happen?


	4. Chapter 4

thinking  
/ˈθɪŋkɪŋ/  
noun

the process of considering or reasoning about something.

~ ~ ~

What was that?

The thoughts are running in my mind, like a hamster in its wheel, while I am fastly walking back to the middle of the camp. For being exact: the campfire without fire.

Me, Nico Di Angelo, why do I have to fall for idiots? For the Gods sake.

I stop out of all sudden as soon as I see the amount of people, and which people are gathered there.

I have to admit, since Annabeth and Percy are dating, my respect for her sunk a lot. And so did my appreciation. 

''Nico! Come over!'' I hear my best friend Will shout and I sigh to myself.  
''I'm tired.'' I lie terribly bad and pretend to yawn, when someone suddenly pecks me in the side and I jump several metres away.

''What motherfuuu-!'' I start to yell already, but stop, when I suddenly see Percy grinning widely behind me.  
''Carry on.'' He laughs while he puts his hands on his hips like some teacher when you shot the arrow the wrong way and it accidentally hit someone.  
''I'm good.'' I roll my eyes and cross my arms in front of my chest, while kicking some small stones on the ground away.  
''Then you can surely sit down, too. Right?'' 

My smile fades. I don't want to be with all those people which don't know about what is going on inside of me. I couldn't tell Percy, that my heart can't stand it when I see him with Annabeth. Everyone thinks, that I just am always in a bad mood and want to be alone, but that is not even fully true.  
Yes. I like being alone, but not feeling lonely. That's the difference. 

''No. I am tired.'' I don't move. I can't.  
''What? It's nearly 6am, Nico.'' 

Nico. That's my name. I would have never guessed, that my name out of his mouth could sound so good. So... warm? I am bad in describing feelings, or myself. I just wish, that I could touch him.  
You know that feeling, when you desire to have something, which is unreachable, starts to grow and eventually become overwhelming? When the odd feelings and fears take over your mind and you act like a total dork around some special people?  
I am at this dumb point, right now.

''Nico?'' 

Again. My name. Out of his mouth. 

''That's my name.'' I breathe out in an odd way, and clench my hands into fists for avoiding to make an embarrassed grimace, because I just spoke out my thoughts.  
''I know,'' Percy snickers. ''It wouldn't be the same thing without you.'' He points to the others, which are laughing about something, what is probably completely irrelevant, and I blink several times for realizing what is going on.

Of course, I would literally love, to spend more time with Percy... But not when Annabeth, his girlfriend, is also present.

''I'm tired.'' I repeat myself again. This time, my voice cracks in the middle of my sentence when I see how Annabeth is hurrying into our direction.  
''Please. Just one hour.'' Percy looks at me and I accidentally glance at him, the exact same time his eyes find mine. 

His blue eyes seem to shine in the slowly appearing sunrise behind me, and I get the comforting feeling, like I am watching an ocean, which is at the same time in such a cold blue, but also so warm like I could burn in flames through the waves.  
Beautiful. That's the fitting word. Okay and maybe even hot, but we don't need to explain that any further. (It's kind of obvious).

''So? You guys coming?''

For fucks sake, I hate girls. Of course Annabeth has to interrupt the biggest gay moment of my entire life.  
Rude.

''What? Oh- OH, right. Yes. Yeah.'' Percy stutters and cuts the staring, or more gazing, contest.  
''You, too, Nico?'' Annabeth turns to me and I nod subconsciously. ''Perfect.''

Shit.


	5. Chapter 5

heartbroken  
/ˈhɑːtbrəʊkən/  
adjective

suffering from overwhelming distress.

~ ~ ~

Shit. 

What is wrong with my head, that I agreed to come with Annabeth and Percy while the sunrise is happening right. In. This. Moment.  
I shouldn't be here. I wanted to watch the sunrise in peace, while letting my legs hanging down the cliff and leaning back into the grass. Can't I have my own kind of freedom?

''Come here!'' Will pulls me, as soon as I arrive, next to him down on one of the two tree trunks, where everyone is sitting at.  
''Hey.'' I say dryly and start fidgeting with the ring on my hand, for avoiding to let anyone recognize my jealousy when Percy lays one arm around Annabeth's shoulders.  
I wish, that would be me in his arms. 

''I love you!'' 

Let's freeze time a bit. Please? PLEASE? 

''I love me, too!'' Will yells in-between and I couldn't be more happy about that. 

A snort escapes me and I look at Will, who grins victoriously into my direction. 

''Wow. Anyway..'' Annabeth starts talking, but I stop listening after just a few seconds and begin to focus my sight on the ground in front of me, for avoiding to maybe even see a goddamn make-out. That would be the worst thing, what could happen in this moment.

''Are you alright, man?'' Will's voice sounds weirdly distant and the only thing I hear is the rhythmic, throbbing heartbeat of mine. It is so unusual loud in my ears, and my throat starts to feel completely dry.  
What is wrong with me? 

''Nico?'' Will's voice is now a little louder again, and I close my eyes tightly together. Trying, to focus on something else, but my own heartbeat.  
''Nico?!'' He now sounds way more worried than before, so I force myself to open my eyes a small bit. Just for noticing, how everyone is staring at me. 

An uncomfortable feeling starts to spread in my stomach as I glance into the round.  
Why are they staring?! 

''Nico, what's wrong?'' Will again.  
''I- I am fine. Uh- what?'' I mutter confused, while feeling incredibly stupid.  
''I know you're not. Please, just talk to me.'' He is whispering now for giving us some privacy. As much as I appreciate his offer, I just can't. I can't tell him, how I feel about Percy or in general about this entire situation.  
It's too scurrilous.  
''It's okay. I am just zoning out, when I am tired.'' The last part comes out much harsher than I planned, and I recognize how a small sigh comes from my side, because of what I keep my head low. 

I am such a disappointment. 

''Okay... I'll be here, if there's anything more than that, okay?'' Will strokes my back for a short moment, before standing up and going somewhere.  
I can't really tell, where exactly.  
At his free ,,seat'', someone else now takes his place and I feel my heart slightly jump. 

Percy.

''Hey, uh, the air- uhm is very uh, great. Yep. Great.'' He laughs awkwardly and I slightly smile at that. Sigh.. if he would have any idea.  
''Mhm.'' I mutter and lift my head a tiny bit for watching the sky, and not having to look at him while talking.  
''I know you say you're fine, but I just wanted to tell you that it's- uh- okay, to not be okay.'' 

I feel my heart break and melt at the same time. I wish, I could tell him everything, what is forming this confusing storm inside of me, but I can't. I probably never will. This is my fault, at this point.  
He never really leaves my mind, he's always there; more mentally than physically, of course.  
It's just incomprehensible. He's my one stable force, while being my worst pain. My one stability in a world filled with chaos and I could so desperately need that in my life.  
I can't believe I've only just realized it.

It is all so strange. It's overwhelming, yet makes me feel different.. positively. It feels as I'm in a dangerous fire, but safe from it at the same time. It feels like the thought of him is giving me a bit more peace, than everything else around me.  
It feels as if there's no oxygen left in my lungs.  
It's strange, maybe even frightening. How you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as the underworld wouldn't be able to imagine being without them now. I know, I am only ,,young'', 85 years correctly and actually, and most people would consider this to be foolish and naïve, but it's true. I know what I feel.  
I just don't want to feel. 

I want to be able to hold him close, but every time I am about to speak my thoughts out, it's like something inside of me is keeping me shut. 

''Thanks. Appreciated.'' I give back and change my vision to my hands, which are still fidgeting with the ring on my finger.  
''So?'' I feel Percy looking at me.  
''What? I'm fine. Just tired. See you later.'' I stand up cumbersome and hurry away from this weird situation. 

Sorry, Percy, but I can't do this right now.


	6. Chapter 6

consideration  
/kənsɪdəˈreɪʃ(ə)n/  
noun

1.  
careful thought, typically over a period of time

~ ~ ~

I'm worried. I have to admit it. Why does he always run away whenever we talk? Gods, I really have to fuck up everything, don't I?

After seeing, how Nico stumbled away, I decide to also go somewhere more private. At least a bit.  
Heavily, I get up with a groan and glance to the others for a small moment, before disappearing into the already starting sunrise.  
I wouldn't be surprised, if the Apollo kids would be already awake when I go to bed. 

Quietly, I let myself slide down on the pillar, from Cabin three, until I reach the stairs and sit down.  
For a small moment, the world seems okay, like nothing bad could ever happen here.  
Like this is a normal summer camp, where everyone is having fun and is perfectly happy.  
Sadly, it's absolutely not like this.  
Sometimes, I worry about everything what has already happened, since a long time ago in the past.  
Could I have prevented, what happened to some of my friends? Even Annabeth nearly died... I'm the worst boyfriend ever, aren't I? 

While being stuck in my thoughts, I feel how someone sits down close next to me in silence, only slow breathing is audible.  
I title my head a small bit, for looking to the person, who decided to keep me company.  
As I see who it is, a small smile appears on my face and I glance back into the sky. There aren't words needed, I think...? 

But how hard I try, I can't stop myself from secretly glancing over to the boy with the mysterious brown eyes, which seem to have, between all this blackness, a big amount of light inside. Most people say; nothing is always black and white, and that's correct, but why black and white? What about all those other colours? Why not blue and green, or red and blue, or brown and green, or all those other combinations? Urgh, it's too early, or late, for this kind of thoughts. 

Nico seems to have realized, that I have been staring at him for the past thirty seconds and he looks at me with a slightly raised eyebrow. 

Embarrassed, I look away and feel the odd heat in my cheeks once again.  
Shit.

''I can- uh- go, if you want to be alone.'' He says quietly, and I feel my heart beat faster.  
''What? No, it's fine.'' I breathe out while chuckling a tiny bit.  
'' 'Kay.'' Nico nods and leans back on the stairs. His head on the very first stair, while Nico glances up into the sky. 

He appears peaceful and chilled, not like at the campfire, where he seemed absent and cold. I wonder, what was wrong. 

''What was wrong at the campfire?'' It slips out of me and Nico's smile freezes within milliseconds.  
''Nothing.'' He seems like I just hit a painful spot, and I feel had immediately.  
''I- I didn't mean to get offensive..-'' I say quietly and gulp heavily.  
''It's fine, it's nothing.'' Nico mutters, but his eyes are focused on the ground in front of him.  
''No, I really am sorry,'' I pause. ''Do you want to talk about it?'' I add, and glance over to him.  
''No, thanks. I-.'' He gets interrupted by another person, which walks over to us.  
''Hi Percy,'' Annabeth looks to Nico. ''And Nico.'' 

Shit. 

''I'll go, bye.'' Nico stands up fast and before I am even capable to think of a response, he is already gone

''So much to that.'' Annabeth sits down on the place where Nico was before.  
''Yeah.'' I sigh.  
''What's wrong?'' She puts her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around me.  
''I don't know, just thinking.'' I respond and lay my left arm around her shoulder.  
''About what?'' She smiles at me, but I don't, so her smile fades.  
''Doesn't matter. I'm tired.'' I attempt to stand up, but Annabeth holds me back on my hand.  
''Please, talk to me. You know I will always listen,'' She gazes at me hopefully and wraps her arms around my neck. ''Please.''

It's all confused right now, I don't even know what to think!  
I am trying to find out what to say, but nothing leaves my mouth. Just silence. 

''Sorry.'' I then clear my throat, before I feel her leaning forward and kissing me softly.

The thing is, I always actually felt something inside of me, when Annabeth did that before, but now? Since I am questioning everything? I don't know anymore. It's all so confusing.

For the next five seconds, ,,we'' carry on kissing, but then she pulls back and looks at me kind of hurt.  
What did I do? 

''Seriously, what's wrong?'' Her voice is filled with disappointment, and I glance away. 

How do I express this?

''Wha- what do you uh mean?'' I stammer uncontrollable and try to look serious, but fail.  
''You don't talk to me, you don't kiss back, you seem forced, you lie,'' She catches her breath shakily. ''What is all this? Do I even matter to you anymore?'' Annabeth is in obvious pain, and it's my fault.

I did this. Why am I like this? Gods, I need to talk to her. I didn't mean, to let this happen. Goddammit. 

''I'm sor-.'' I start, but she interrupts me. ''No, stop with your empty apologies! Tell me the truth!''  
''What truth-.''  
''Do you still love me, Percy?'' She looks me straight into the eye and I feel like I have to throw up. 

I don't respond. 

''Percy?'' She repeats, now more insecure.  
''I- I-.'' I try to talk, but I can't. She's right. I don't know what I feel.

I see her heart break right in this moment just by the way she looks away. Annabeth's eyes are filling with tears, and I want nothing more than pull her into a hug and tell her it'll be fine, but I can't move. 

''I guess that's it then.'' She says shakily and stands up, hurrying to get away.

Shit.


	7. Chapter 7

pain  
[/peɪn/]  
noun

1.  
highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury.  
"He's in great pain"

Similar:  
suffering  
agony  
affliction  
torture  
torment  
discomfort  
soreness  
ache  
aching  
hurt  
throb  
throbbing  
smarting  
pricking  
sting  
stinging  
twinge  
shooting pain  
stab  
pang  
spasm  
stitch  
cramp  
irritation  
stiffness  
tenderness

2.  
great care or trouble.

''he took pains to see that everyone ate well"

panic1  
/ˈpanɪk/  
noun

sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behaviour.  
"he hit him in panic"

Similar:  
alarm  
anxiety  
nervousness  
Fear  
fright  
trepidation  
dread  
terror  
horror  
agitation  
hysteria  
consternation  
perturbation  
dismay  
disquiet  
apprehension  
apprehensiveness  
flap  
fluster  
state  
cold sweat  
funk  
tizzy  
tizz  
swivet

Opposite:  
calm  
calmness

verb

feel or cause to feel panic.  
"the crowd panicked and stampeded for the exit"

~ ~ ~

You know the moment, when your chest suddenly feels too tight, your lungs seem to not catch enough oxygen, and your body is uncontrollably shaking? When everything looks like there is no reason for anything, only pain.  
It hurts to breathe, walk, or even think. Exhaustion adds on and everything feels way too heavy and your legs get weak.  
Your heart is aching and everything seems helpless, so you ask yourself;  
,,Why?''  
,,What did I do, to deserve this?''  
,,Is it because I am a bad person?'' 

Because yes, I certainly know that feeling. And it hurts like the fucking worst. I never planned on this.  
After being stuck in the 1940's where I would have been illegal and probably killed for being me, if I wouldn't have hidden it, I am still not where I want to be at all. Why me? For the gods sake, why me?

(Possible TW)

Feeling, how my chest is getting even more tight than it already was before, I squeeze my eyes shut while my nails dig into my skin and my head bangs against the wooden wall from the cabin I am inside. Everything hurts. It hurts so fucking much.  
My breathing becomes even more rapid, more shallow.   
Why me?  
I feel my ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate my lungs. My head is a carousel of memories and thoughts spinning out of control, each one pushing my mind into helplessness. I want to run, but moving seems to not he an option. It is like I'm no longer in the body, that sits with the back on a wall inside a strangers cabin.  
Why... Me?  
My stomach flips as I think about my ,,problem'' and his girlfriends words. gag at the thought of his hand stroking her cheek.  
My body is shaking uncontrollably.  
WHY ME?  
I can't even try to concentrate on anything that I'm doing. The next thing what happens, is the adrenaline levels rise, l and my brain starts to feel like it's on fire. Negative thoughts spread like a deadly disease in my mind.  
The negative thoughts keep coming like waves in a deep ocean.  
The arguments in my head get so fast and so disturbing that my brain shuts down my body. The sweat has completely covered my body and my heart feels like it's going to explode.  
Why.... why me? (Tw end) 


	8. Chapter 8

guilt  
/ɡɪlt/

noun

the fact of having committed a specified or implied offence or crime.

~ ~ ~

This is all my fault. Annabeth will never forgive me for this. For the Gods sake, why did I do this again? For who? Was is really for my personal desires, or maybe because I secretly like someone else- No. I have to stop this. I don't like anyone. I mean, who would I even like, pfft that's ridiculous. Is it though...- Gods, STOP!

I need someone to talk to about this... but who? Annabeth isn't an option, Grover is on some mission again, Jason and me don't talk about this kind of stuff, neither do my half-brother and me, Will's basically ignoring me and I don't even know why... Wait. Nico! 

Or not. No. I'll look like a creep. I mean, why would I speak to him about how I broke up with my, now ex, girlfriend?  
I need to talk to someone, though..  
I'm sure he won't send me to hadestown immediately because of this, right?

No, no, no. Such a stupid idea. I shouldn't go to him. He hates me. Of course he hates me, it was my fault what happened... She survived, but almost didn't. It was my fault. He has every right to hate me.  
I am a terrible person.

But well, on the other hand..-! Shut it. I hate my mind. 

What if I go to him anyway, just for checking in? Maybe we come on accident to the subject? Who knows? 

With a shaky sigh, I stand up from the stairs and have to hold myself on the pillar for not falling over.  
Shit.  
My legs feel weak. And my entire body feels exhausted, too.  
Forcing myself to step forward, I sense an uncommon, cold discern on my skin and mind, which seems misty for a second.  
Shivers spread over my body, and I wrap my arms around myself, while walking fastly the small path into the direction of Nico's cabin.  
Okay, it isn't really Nico's, but no one lives there at the moment. 

Without even recognizing, I already arrive at his doorstep and cognize, how endorphins are spreading inside of me and the weird excitement feels like a huge tennis ball inside my throat.  
My hands start to sweat, and I take a deep breath, before knocking on the door.

Why do I keep behaving like this? It's not like he's my crush or anything. I am not even str- gay!!? 

Steps are audible behind the door, right before black, messy hair appears in my sight after the door swung open.  
Gods, he looks adorable.

''What?'' Nico seems tired. Not just tired. His eyes are reddish, like he has been crying a bit of time ago, and his voice sounds completely broken.  
''I, uh, needed to talk to someone.'' I bring out and force myself to an insecure smile. 

To my surprise, Nico steps aside for letting me in and a relieved sigh escapes me.  
Shhhhut up, Percy. I tell myself internally.

''About what?'' Nico crosses his arms, while sitting down on his bed, next to me.  
''Oh, Annabeth.'' My voices cracks at the end of the sentence, and I have to hold back my tears.

I know, I don't like her anymore, but she was my safe haven for such a long time. I do love her, just as a friend, though. 

Nico groans quietly.  
''What happened now?''  
I fidged with my hands nervously, bouncing my leg subconsciously.  
''She... broke up with me.'' I say quietly. Pain is audible in my voice.  
''What?! Really?!!'' Nico exclaims and my eyes find his for a small moment.

Is that... excitement?

''I mean, I am so sorry, Percy.'' Nico clears his throat and I glance at my hands.  
''Whatever. I just don't want to be alone right now, and your cabin is on the dark side, so it's even dark here at day times.'' I get louder at the end and my voice sounds hysterically, because I start feeling awkward.  
''The sun is already almost up... You sure, you want to ditch the day?'' Nico chuckles in a rough morning voice, which is hella attractive if I may note that, and looks at me the first time since I am here. 

Don't even dare, Percy, you can't. It's not okay. No. You don't like anyone. No. I am perfectly straight.

''Yep. One hundred percycent sure.'' I joke cringingly and blush immediately at the bad words.  
''Good for you, Mister Persassy, but I am tired, so I will sleep now. You can too. I don't mind.'' Nico is about to lie down, when something slips out of me.

''Nico,...-!''


	9. Chapter 9

comforting  
/ˈkʌmfətɪŋ/

adjective

serving to alleviate a person's feelings of grief or distress.  
"we would like to thank our family and friends for their support and their comforting words"

~ ~ ~

''Uh uh, uhm, I don't- I don't think it'll be a good idea when I...-'' Percy suddenly says, not able to find his words apparently.  
''When you what?'' This comes out harsher, than I planned.  
''Sleep... alone? Because of what happened, I tend to have this awfully bad thoughts and they lead to nightmares and those lead to my paranoia so I uhm- yeah. Sorry.'' He laughs hysterically, and my facial expressions soften. 

I expected everything, but this. He's so adorable, aww. Holy Hades, Shut up, me. Stop being a simp.

''That's okay.'' A smile spreads over my face, as soon as Percy looks at me insecurely and I roll over to the side where the wall is, and lie there like some dumbass.

Gods, I am so childish when Percy's around. 

''What are you waiting for?'' I frown at him, seeing how he is visible struggling with what to do. ''Come here.'' 

Percy nods slowly, leaning back next to me, so that our shoulders touch whenever someone moves. The spots, where his shoulder reaches me, feel like they are set on fire. Not in a painful way. In a comforting way. It makes me want more of it.

''Sorry for bothering.'' His voice now sounds trembling and like he is shortly before crying, so I lift my head a short bit and realize how Percy's cheeks are already covered with multiple tears, running down them.

''Hey, don't cry, okay? Percy, look at me,'' Because of my height, I have to slide up a bit for being at his level. ''She's a bitch for leaving someone like you.'' It slips out of me while my hand is rubbing his shoulder, trying to give some comfort.

''Can I- can I hug you?'' Percy changes the subject and my cheeks go incredibly red.  
''Y-yeah.'' I stammer in surprise, nearly slapping myself because of that, and feel how he wraps his arms around me.

At first I tense up, but fastly relax into it. Not even a few seconds later, I take the risk to wrap my arms around his torso and hug him close, and I awkwardly squeeze my eyes shut while doing it.  
Small sobs are audible, when Percy suddenly hides his face in my shoulder and kind of clinches onto me.  
I could never let another close to me like this, but he's so different. Whatever Jackson is doing to my brain and heart, I don't know how to feel about it.

''Percy?'' I whisper, and his pretty green eyes are having a reddish shine on them from all the crying.  
He doesn't reply.  
I don't know what I am doing next, but without thinking about it, I poke Percy's nose and hold him close, brushing a strand of dark hair away from his face. He sniffs dejectedly and buries his face in my chest.

Why did I do that?! 

Percy glances to me once again, his head a smaller bit higher placed than mine.  
''I'm sorry, if I make you feel uncomfortable.'' He sniffs and worry lines appear on my forehead.  
''No, no, no, it's okay. Don't worry.'' I show him a smile, but also feel the tiredness coming for me.  
''Okay...'' Percy's voice now sounds more distant, and I feel myself falling asleep.

Asleep, in Percy Jackson arms.


	10. Chapter 10

eeling  
/ˈfiːlɪŋ/  
plural noun: feelings

1.  
an emotional state or reaction.

''a feeling of joy"

2\. An idea or belief, especially a vague or irrational one.

~ ~ ~

His chest rising and falling against my back, our breaths in unison, and the warm blood that I could feel in our close embrace.  
All of this, doesn't seem real. The tears on my cheeks are already dry, and I can't resist to smile a small bit. As far I know, Nico already fell asleep after a few seconds, his arms around me, mine around him.

That's all no homo. I swear.

The nice feelings of comfort and peace make me think so irrational things, that I can't do anything else but question myself. 

What do I feel? I guess, I am pretty sure, it's just friendship, but.. what if not? No, I can't think like this. Nico probably only does this, because he would feel bad if he didn't.  
Why do I have to think so negative? Urgh. Can't control it. 

I observe, how Nico moves a small bit with his head and then sighs.  
His hot breath strokes over my neck and shivers appear on my skin. 

Nico is a good person. He and Bianca didn't deserve all the suffering they had in the past.  
I couldn't even imagine, how it must have been in the 1940's. 

Should I ask him about it?

Better not... But what if-. It's private, Percy, stop putting yourself into another narrative, which isn't yours.

Even though it is weird, because Nico is slightly smaller than me, that he holds me like this, I can't resist to sense a small feeling of enjoyment in it. This is different, than with Annabeth-.

No. Now I already compare them. That's not good. I can't fall for a person immediately after I broke up with someone. Annabeth will probably pulverize me, and Nico would be disgusted. Sigh.

I wish, I could put in words, what I feel, but it's too much to tell or let out loudly. Suppression isn't an option either, though.. Shit. 

In a world where war isn't foreign, where cruelty is the cause and love the antidote, I don't want to live in this danger to get hated by my only friends. I lost so many people, please not even more.  
Times changed. So did people. And so did I. Going through this again seems too painful.  
Isn’t it funny, that if I had made a different decision I wouldn’t be here now? If I had just not ran into the camp a few years ago, my fate would’ve been written in different ink. Hilarious and irrelevant, I know.  
And I know, it sound silly that I think there's someone out there for everyone, but I believe kind of in it. Now I know, some say there’s no such thing as ,,true love'', that it all ends in heartbreak and pain, but what if it doesn't?

Why in hades am I talking about love? Gods, I need to switch the subject. 

While trying to cope with my confusing thoughts, Nico mutters something incomprehensible and my heart starts to beat faster. I genuinely don't know, why.  
Then again. He mutters something repeatedly, this time I listen more closely, and it turns out, it's something completely irrelevant. Why would I even hope, that it could be something else.

I think, I can't deny it anymore.

I got a crush on someone who hates me. Right after my girlfriend broke up with me.

Totally good job, Percy.


	11. Chapter 11

overthinking  
/əʊvəˈθɪŋkıng/

think about (something) too much or for too long.  
"He tends to overthink situations and problems in his life"

~ ~ ~

I wake up. My heart beating incredibly fast. A few of my strands of hair are like glued on my forehead, because of the amount sweat all over my skin. 

Where am I? 

I realize where I am, the moment someone in my arms moves, whereupon my cheeks heat up fastly. 

Fastly, I remember what happened before I fell asleep. 

Right after I was bawling my eyes out because of Annabeth and Percy, Percy himself stomped into my cabin and told me that his girlfriend Annabeth broke up with him?! Yeah... That happened first... and then?  
Right. I am not so sure, if that is really a genuine thing, though, but he cried? Did he cry? I remember him crying. Anyway.   
I believe, my brain kind of shut off, because of the shock, that Percy was here with me, bawling his eyes out like I did before.   
For the Gods sake, what else happened? How did I end up holding him in my arms right now?   
Remember, Nico. Come on. Use your braincells, you're not for a joke a child from one of the big three.   
Wait. I think, I got it.   
Nope, I don't. 

I feel movement next to me and my eyes switch within milliseconds to the company in my arms.(!!!!!)   
Percy's almond shaped eyes are peacefully closed and his breathing finally goes in a normal, not so concerning, way.   
If I wouldn't know it better, I could bet, that a small smile is present on his slightly pinkish lips.   
Sigh. How it would feel to kiss- No. He just got his heart broken, Nico. I couldn't do that to him.   
While carrying on carefully studying Percy's face, I also recognize the small scar on his cheek, the little amount of freckles around his nose and two birthmarks on his neck, too.   
Like I am seeing this boy the first time in my life, I sense an intense feeling in my finger tips and face, kind of like electricity.   
He is beautiful. I get, why Annabeth likes him. I really do. To be honest, I could never understand anything else better.   
All the stories, how the ,,chosen one'' of the prophecy would save everyone and everything, and how he would bring peace, summarized in this one person.   
If I think about it a bit more, Percy doesn't even look like it.   
Of course, he seems pretty exhausted and paranoid most of the time, still despite that, Percy could be a normal boy with a troubled past. 

It might seem strange, yet I know, I could listen to him all day talking about some sea and blue shit just because his voice is an enjoyment itself.   
I can't deny anything anymore.   
Why should I hide my feeling from myself, it is only me, who can hear the to me belonging thoughts, correct?   
So, here it goes. 

I have a crush on Percy Jackson.

Happy, now? There you go. 

Still staring at Percy like some weird stalker, my face expression softens a tiny bit more and even a calming smile appears on it, while the person in my arms slightly stirs in his beauty sleep. Like he would need that. Hilarious. 

A sigh escapes me as I lay back down, unsure, whether I should put my arm around him again, or leave it on my side.   
This is awkward. 

In the end, Percy himself decides it with turning around into my direction and awkwardly nestling on to me.

My cheeks flush incredibly much, while I try to swallow down the giant amount of bats in my stomach.  
Yes. Bats. No butterflies. They are too happy and shiny. Also, it is not literal bats, so leave me be.

A beam rushes over my face again, this time I don't try to cover it and just lay my arm around Percy again.  
I don't care if I am smaller. He's cute, I can do that.

Then I feel a sudden exhaustion come over me once again.


	12. Chapter 12

darkness  
/ˈdɑːknəs/

noun

-1.

the partial or total absence of light.  
"the office was in darkness"

-2.  
wickedness or evil.  
"the forces of darkness"

~ ~ ~ 

''Nico di Angelo. Good to see such a lost soul once again.'' A dark, very rough, voice speaks with a dirty laugh at the end of the phrase, from what shivers spread all over my skin.

My head is spinning. Everything is dark. I should be able to control the shadows around me, but I can't. It is nearly, like I lost all of my powers. Everything that matters.

''Who is that?! Where are you?! Show yourself!'' My throat feels dry and my voice also sounds like it. My fingers starts to perceive the growing desire of scratching myself everywhere, but I don't move. I can't. It is nearly like I am stuck in concrete, or some mud. 

''You will know soon enough, Nico. Now you will do as I say, or you will not receive your powers back,'' 

My blood freezes in my veins. I was right. That is why I can't control it. I just knew, something was up all those past days and now my biggest fear just got confirmed. This can't be real.  
Please, let this just be an Oracle and not some crazy vision! 

''Yes, you understood me right. You will leave Camp Half-Blood and go to Olympus and borrow Poseidon's Trident and bring it to me straight away.'' The voice gets more and more threatening with every word it speaks out.

''No! Screw you! Let me go!'' I sound drained and my eyes start to fill with tears just by the thought how disappointed they would be in me, if I would dare to do this suicidal mission.  
''I won't do it!'' 

Still not able to move, I try to wake myself up as fast as I can. I am willing to go through every tactic I learned, before the voice will be even able to consider stealing all of my leftover powers.  
Haha. Spoiler: Nothing works. I am trapped.

''Then you shall live in immortality, without any other powers, and see everyone around you die away while you carry on living, unable to end it.'' The tension is nearly touchable, yet cold, while suddenly a stamp is loudly audible on the ground and I feel like I just got shot into my chest.

I wake up. Sweat dripping down my nose, while I am desperately trying to catch a breath and regular it all, but it is a hopeless mystery. 

''Nico!'' 

My sight changes and I stare right into sea-green eyes, which are focused on me like I am dying right this moment. 

Am I dreaming...?

''Gods, you scared the living shit out of me, man!'' Percy beaths in deeply, shaking his head slightly. 

My eyes fill with tears again, like in my previous ,,vision'', just by the look at the son of Poseidon, who is just trying to comfort me without knowing what is even going on.  
Percy is too pure, for this world.

''You shouldn't be here.'' I say dryly, turning my head into the opposite direction of him. 

I feel my heart shatter in a million pieces. Unable, to pick all of them up. I have been trying way too long to be perfect, already. The only thing, I bring everyone around me is suffering and pain and near death experience.  
Why do I even wonder? I am the son of the death. Percy shouldn't care about me, neither should the others campers.  
But here we are. 

''Wh- what are you talking about?'' Percy's voice is slightly trembling, probably in surprise because of my reaction.  
I squeeze my eyes shut, a single tear running down my cheek, as I speak out the words, I wish I wouldn't ever have to say.

''I hate you, Percy. Leave me alone.''


	13. Chapter 13

helplessness  
/ˈhɛlpləsnəs/

inability to defend oneself or to act effectively.  
"worst of all is the feeling of helplessness"

~ ~ ~

''I hate you, Percy. Leave me alone.''

Everything inside of me breaks, my eyes start to get wet and I have to blink several times for hiding it.  
I should have known better. I don't matter to Nico at all. All I am, is a burden to him.   
A burden, he only takes care of, so that he doesn't feel bad.   
Why did I think I matter?! Why?!  
What I need will never come and no matter how much I seek I won't find it. I wasn't born for great things, how everyone tells me all the time, nor to find my place in the world. I could try every day, work for what I want and need, but there are no paths to success, not from here. People talk as if I dream my way out, simply discover a version of me that only sees the opportunities.  
Call it despair if you want, but something that fake hurts more than anything.  
You know, there was hope before. Just a tiny flicker agains the wind. what did it get me? Nothing. Pain, eventually.

I am in a range right now, which is nearly immaculate.   
To be honest, I can't blame Nico. I really can't.   
The moment my dad saw me in Olympus a few years ago, he immediately said I was a mistake! A damn mistake! 

Sometimes, I consider asking myself, if I am maybe more than the failure, the sucker, the ,,please don't speak'', but then I remember; Everyone here expects me to stand over all of this.  
I have to be strong.  
I have to carry on fighting.  
I have to live on without looking back. Live in the present.   
Do you even know, how hard this is? The scary despair, dread and lost hope with which I stand up every single day.   
It's indescribable. 

''Nico..- what?'' My voice sounds incredibly itchy.

Nico doesn't reply. His view is focused on some random spot in front of him, while he clenches his hands into fists. 

''I'm sorry if I did something wrong, but please talk to me! I-.'' I start. My voices trembling and my heartbeat going fast in an unusual amount.  
''Just- l-leave. I- I- leave.'' Nico stutters. And for one moment, I feel like that's not him. That couldn't he him. Nico wouldn't do something like this, would he?  
''But..-.'' I try to speak and form a sentence, but my voice breaks at the end of the first word already.  
''Leave.'' Nico breathes out, sitting up and wiping a tear of his own away.

Why is he crying? What? This all just doesn't make any sense! 

''I-... Sorry.'' I gulp heavily and get up, holding my head down while hurrying out of cabin.

The moment the door closes behind me and let the tears run down my cheeks without holding it back.   
I don't bother staying here any longer, so I nearly run to the sea close to the camp.  
It always helps me to calm down, but today, the pleasant waves don't seem to help at all.   
Too much of pain is stuffed up inside of me.  
Too many questions and too many thoughts. 

With tears still streaming down my face, I can do nothing but sit cross-legged on the sandy shore and stare at the horizon in front of me. Waves of a deep royal blue crept towards me before running away. It is supposed sweep me away from all of my worries, just like the waves creeping over seashells and stealing them in a matter of seconds, but it doesn't work. My last teardrop falls and hits the soft white sand, and I make a fast decision.

Without waiting another second, I pull my shirt over my head and throw it onto the sand, running towards the waves and throwing myself into them.

I could swim forever, dive forever, be here in this underwater world forever. Forget whatever kind of problem is around me, but at the same time, it wouldn't be right. 

With a few more arm moves, I reach the sandy bottom and take a deep breath.  
It is freeing, to be able to breathe under water.

Here, no one could bother me. No one could hurt me or say anything.  
In the comforting motions of the water bubbles around me, I dare to give in and lie backwards into the sand. Through what a small dust cloud floats slowly up towards the surface. 

''Percy.'' A familiar voice is audible right next to me, so I open my eyes again and practically jump up, now standing in the water.  
''Dad.'' I gasp and clear my throat, eyeing the watery figure, my dad poseidon, in front of me.  
''You need to get back up, son.'' He looks at me with a serious impression in his sea-green eyes.   
''Why? I am good here.'' I protest, shaking my head slightly while floating a small bit backwards.  
''You are certainly not, they need you.'' Poseidon carries on trying to convince me, but I promise myself that I won't let him.

What does he even care? 

''Okay. Good. I don't care.'' I turn around and attempt to swim back up to the surface, but my feet are like glued to the ground.  
''You need to stop a new war between the Gods. It is all in your hands, son.'' He glares at me and I roll my eyes.  
''Don't call me son.'' I say bitter.  
''I am sorry, I wasn't there, but we need your he-.'' 

Can't they do their job once?

''Why me? Why am I always the one who has to do the dirty work?!'' I snap at him and clench my fists.   
''Because this time, you are the only one who can stop him.''


	14. Chapter 14

uncertainty  
/ʌnˈsəːt(ə)nti/

the state of being uncertain.  
"times of uncertainty and danger"

~ ~ ~

''It's somehow always me, who is the only one who can help, apparently!'' It bursts out of me and I huff in a lot of anger. My ADHD not making any of this easier.  
''Perseus Jackson, the Gods count on you.'' My dad carries on, glaring at me like this is really about death and life.  
''Then why don't you do it instead?'' I raise my eyebrow.  
''Nico counts on you.'' With that words, Poseidon fades away in the water and I try to hold him back, but my hands simply slide through the water and leave small water bubbles behind.

My heart sinks, thoughts running through my mind like a car on full speed on the racing track.   
I knew, something was wrong, but now I even need to a) find out what exactly it is, b) how I am going to do that.

With a sigh, I repel myself from the sandy ground and swim up to the surface, the cold air feeling like a hit in the face as soon as I reach it.   
An odd feeling reaches me and I glance around.  
The sun is already going down, and long shadows are appearing behind every object my sight can grasp.  
Suddenly, a fast movement is seeable behind the big rock on the left side of the beach.  
My senses are now as sharp as a knife and my entire body is tensed up, ready to attack whatever is right there in the bushes. Waiting, to hunt me down... or worse.  
Every bit of fear is away from my face, just the will of surviving is present and takes over my mind.   
Nothing else is left in this moment. 

I submerge under the water, in only a few arm trains at the beach, but I don't dare going up yet. 

''Percy?'' A familiar voice suddenly shouts and my muscles relax again.   
Will.  
Wait. What is Will doing here?  
I get out of the water. My clothes drying as soon as I step out of it, like usually. 

''Almost the entire Camp is searching for you!'' Will runs towards me and stops around two meters in front of me.  
''What? Why?'' Visible confusion is recognizable on my face.  
''I honestly don't really know, apparently it's something someone has said, but I stopped listening as soon as Annabeth started to spread some rumors about you and Nico-.'' Will is about to carry on talking, but I interrupt him.  
''What rumors?''   
My heart skips a beat. What does she know?  
''As I said, I didn't listen any further. Anyway, you need to get back. Chiron is waiting for you.'' With that words, Will looks at me one last time before walking the same way back he came from before.

So, now I am alone for a bit of time. Alone, with my thoughts and worries.  
Is Nico okay?   
Dumb question, Percy. He is obviously not. Poseido- dad wouldn't have said that, if Nico would be okay.  
I stop arguing with myself for a moment and straighten my back, making my way to Chiron with a bad feeling spreading in my stomach already.  
My throat feels dry, as soon as the big, I would describe it as large, and sky blue house appears right in front of me.  
Strangely enough, I met not a single soul while I made my way at here.

I knock on the door big, brown, woody door. My hands slightly shaking, while cold sweat starts to go down my back and I need to close my eyes for being able to focus correctly.

The door opens.

''Perseus.'' Chiron says and I gulp heavily. He never calls me that name, except when it is about something really serious.  
''Y-yes, Sir.'' I stutter insecurely, trying to look confident, but failing miserably.  
''Nico is missing, and he only left this one note.'' My hands are now uncontrollably shaking, while I take the note and try to read it, but my dyslexia doesn't make it an easy challenge.

Hi ot whvreoe resda tihs, I am sryr, ubt I tnee og to. I dno't tnaw anoyne to tge hrut agnia bceuase of me.  
Sryor, I geuss.  
-Nico

Wait. No. I focus on the letters, trying to make them look less mixed up and make them more sense.  
Shit. Focus Percy.

Hi to whoever reads this, I am sorry, but I need to go. I don't want anyone to get hurt again because of me.  
Sorry, I guess.  
-Nico

My heart stops for a second. This can't be real. No, no, no, no, no! 

''No..-.'' My voice breaks and I feel helplessness coming up my chest, making it feel too tight and painful.  
''Your new quest will be to find him. You will go with Will and Annabeth, since Grover is on his own mission at the moment, and you already said before you don't want a different Satyr.'' Chiron's words seem distant and quiet. 

This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real... My mind repeats those words like a broken cassette recorder and I step a bit backwards. The letter clenched in my fist.

Oh, Nico. What did you get yourself into?


	15. Chapter 15

threaten  
/ˈθrɛt(ə)n/

cause (someone or something) to be vulnerable or at risk; endanger.

~ ~ ~

I run wherever my feet are taking me. The only thing with me is my small bag with a bit of food and water, a few Drachmas I found in my drawer, a knife and some euros I kept from when I was in Italy.   
My breathing gets heavier with every step I take, my feet hurting from all of the running, my throat being completely dry, my clothes wet from the storm outside, and my hope is already lost in general.

I won't get the voice that stupid trident.   
Like I would dare to do that.  
No, I could never. Poseidon would straight away kill me, and if not, Percy would be disappointed in me and ignore me for all eternity.

I am ready to die, if that's what has to happen, so that it stops.  
Immortality... That's, what the voice threatened me with. Shit. I just need to be faster than it.  
Every sound terrifies me, every sudden movement from a tree, or something else, resembling a sprinting phantom coming for me. Even when I beseech myself a thousand times or more that it is just the wind, the thoughts of that it could be something else still make me shudder.   
I had emerged all those already years ago. Some hellhole, ironic, I know, buried beneath a deep, dark river.

A crack is audible behind me. I catch my breath and hurry even faster, if that is possible.

Distance is all that matters. I am not going to stop for anything and I sure as the Underworld itself, won't turn around. My, from the rain slightly burning, eyes stay glued to the ground in front of me, while the world passes away aside from me in a blurry structure. The cracking of the sticks and leaf over the woody ground is making my senses getting terrified even faster.  
The air is sliding sharply on my cheeks, while I jump from the left side back to the right side, switching my directions for keeping whatever is behind me away from my being.  
The wind could be helpful, if I think about it. It could wind away my tracks.  
Heavy rain bounces off the leaf from the tress around me. The storm smothering the sun, greying the world around me even more. Drops of rain beat against my thin jacket like hammers, while my lungs are feeling like they are on fire, from the endless sprinting.   
I think Zeus is trying to tell me how much he hates me. Fuck.  
Lightning suddenly lights the sky in white streaks. Fog embraces every tree, every square centimetre of the ground. Thunder declares itself with a loud noise right above me. The rain slowly becoming heavier on my body and head, making my hair look like jet black washcloth hanging down my face.  
Everytime a lighting lights, it seems to be the brightest time of the day for a few seconds, causing me to another jumpscare and shock, leaving me with every bit a small amount more helpless and hopeless.

When I already think I won't make it any further and I will end here, the first edge of the city is seeable though the mist and I let out a relieved sigh, feeling tears coming up in my eyes just by the thought I could still maybe make it out of here.  
Thought wrong.  
The moment I set my feet away from the forest, I feel a big gust of wind shove me forward and I fall. Eventually rolling down the hill painfully, my left arm starting to feeling swollen as soon as I land on it roughly.

It's really not my week.  
I don't bother standing up anymore. If this is it, then let it be it. I don't care.

Just, as I am about to give up fully, I hear a gasp close to me and steps hurrying over the mud into my direction.

''Call 911...-.'' That is the last thing I hear, before everything turns into the black nothingness, it was before already several times.


	16. Chapter 16

incredulous  
/ɪnˈkrɛdjʊləs/

(of a person or their manner) unwilling or unable to believe something.  
"an incredulous gasp"

~ ~ ~

''I- I don't understand.'' I still can't believe what is happening.  
Nico is missing.   
Nico Di Angelo.   
And apparently I am once again the only person who can help. Why in Hades did I even think any different. 

''Percy. You need to listen closely,'' Chiron starts, glaring me straight into the eye and I gulp heavily. ''There was this prophecy, but we didn't really know it was about you until now. Another godly artifact is in danger and you-.''  
I interrupt him.  
''Every prophecy is about me, duh.'' I roll my eyes and Annabeth nudges my shoulder, causing a weird feeling inside of me.   
''As I said before,'' Chiron clears his throat. ''The trident of your dad is in potential danger, and if a demigod gets it, the entire world could collapse.''

I feel like the blood in my veins just froze. Nico stealing my dad's trident...? No. This can't be real. It has to be a lie. Right...?  
''Nico wouldn't do that,'' I laugh insecurely, trying to cover my painful grimace which is on my face. ''Would he?'' My laugh fades, Chiron glancing slightly down.  
''Right?'' I repeat, this time more urgent with an alarming sound in my voice.  
''We don't know yet, but you need to find him.'' Chiron nods one last time, before turning around and disappearing in The Big House. 

My head feels like everything is turning upside down, and I get oddly dizzy just by the thought of what my new quest is.  
Nico... His name is like burned into my mind and my breathing shortens.  
Shortage of breath is the first sign. I'm breathing but the air just won't go in, like my lungs are constricted. Next comes the rising panic, the dizzy feeling and the need to get low to the ground, because you can't cope with what's happening. My hands are sweaty and still wrapped around the small paper where Nico's last known message is present on.   
My eyesight goes blurry, and my desperate arms flailing for something to clutch to, to save myself from this horrible imagination, how Nico takes over the world and kills me without even thinking about me.  
Like I am a no-one, a nothing, a black hole.   
Internally, I feel like I am drowning in a deep ocean, on the outside, I am just frozen to my place. Scared. My heart shattered into a million small pieces again.  
I know I'm scared when those fears run through my head, when I hear the taunting laughter of my imagination.   
My heart is racing uncontrollably fast and all I want to do is to curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save me. But no one would, no one is there. I am always fighting for myself. A choked cry for help forces itself up my throat, and I suddenly feel a single drop run down my cheek.  
Shit.

''Percy...?'' Annabeth throws me out of my mindset. A choked breath comes out of my mouth.  
''Sorry.'' My voice breaks while I wipe fastly over my face, trying to do it secretly, but failing on that.  
''I- uh, it will be fine. Okay?'' She tries to lighten up my mood, and I nod slowly. Appreciating her attempts.  
''Let's go, guys. I already packed our needed stuff.'' Will suddenly intervenes the moment, almost throwing the stuff into our arms.

Seems like this will be a total fun ride.


	17. Chapter 17

escape  
/ɪˈskeɪp,ɛˈskeɪp/

break free from confinement or control.  
"two burglars have just escaped from prison"

~ ~ ~

I wake as if something terrible is happening around me. As if sleeping had become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast and there is a buzzing in my brain and together they are as panic with jump-leads. Only now, my brain is like on fire, the exertions of the night being a marathon of erratic problem-solving. Then the realization.

I shouldn't be awake. Why am I awake? Where am I? 

Ice cold sweat runs down my back and causes shivers down my spine, making me sit up straight in an unknown white room, with white curtains and sheets, in a white bed with nothing but one really uncomfortable mattress and the same uncomfortable pillow under me.   
Where am I? The question is stuck in my head again, fear now spreading inside of me, too.   
One thing which isn't white is here, though. The red small button next to my arm- wait a damn minute. What is that inside of my arm?! Alarmed, I immediately jump up, all my senses focused on the infusion which is in the bend of my arm with a needle.   
My heart is racing, a small sob from all the panic escaping my mouth.  
I try to get rid of it, but the moment I am about to rip it out of my arm, a women and a man run into the room and hold my arm away from the needle, causing me to panic even more than I was already anyway. 

''Let me go-!'' I shout with an irritated voice, tears welling up in my eyes when I realize I am probably trapped in some asylum or so.  
''Calm down.'' The man speaks slowly and tries to keep me down on the bed, but I only gasp after air and try to use my powers, but nothing happens. 

I cannot concentrate on anything else that I'm doing. My heart starts to beat even faster. Then my adrenaline suddenly rises.  
Every colour is brighter, every noise louder, everyone in the room a cause to make my heart beat more fiercely still.  
Everything inside of me wants to escape, and sure, my muscles are stronger and I'm more awake than I've ever been, but this isn't a situation where running hard for a long time is going to help at all.   
I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of the fading light. My body wants to either run fast or work to find weaponry, but instead I stay right where I am. Sometimes freezing is the best of the choices, and let's face it, there really are only three. I want to quell the hammering in my chest, but there's no way that will happen now.  
My first choice could be staying calm and waiting for a moment where no-one pays attention to me, the second choice to defend myself and try to ignore the feeling of tiredness in my head, and the third one... well. Threatening that my dad is the God of the underworld won't be believed by full mortals.

''You are safe here.'' The women whispers and shows me a smile, but I see it different.  
''No! Let me go!'' I am this time screaming, feeling something deep inside of me crawling up in my body, like an unknown power, I never knew about.  
''It will all be fine.'' She carries on. Then it happens. 

My hands cramp and my back straightens again, suddenly all of my strength is renewed and I push them easily away, both of them literally flying against the wall in front of me.   
I rip the needle out of my arm and press my hand on it, suppressing a whimper from the short pain inside of this arm. The powers wells up again and I eventually tear down the hospital equipment around me without even touching it.  
I run outside, ignoring the pain in my legs which gets stronger with every step I take.   
The stairs seem giant, while I hurry them down. Luckily, I thought subonsciously about my bag which was standing next to my bed back in the room and I took it with me right before leaving that room. Only my clothes could be a problem. 

''Hey!'' A voice shouts behind me and I jump down the rest of the stairs, sprinting towards the exit and gasp as soon as I arrive outside and cold air blows towards me. 

Yes! I think to myself, nearly forgetting I still have to run.

''You gotta be fucking kidding me.'' I curse as soon as I arrive in a maze, the shouts from the staff right behind me. I realize I have no other choice, but to run inside and hope I will find the right way out.

The maze is shabby twisting hedgerows, all of them way taller than me.  
Each wall of concrete is identical to the next without an identifying marker of any kind. There is no reason that left would be better than right, or ahead better than doubling back. I consider for a short moment sitting down in some corner until dawn, but who knows what would come when I they find me anyway.   
I start sprinting, following only my instincts and not the logic.

Left, left, right, left, forward, right, left, forward, right, right, forward, left, forward, forward, left, right, sharp left, forward, abyss,..- wait. I am stuck. No way out then going further backwards.

At least the voices which were following me are gone.


	18. Chapter 18

''So? Where do we start?'' Annabeth picks up her bag from the ground while I let out a long sigh, feeling like something bad is about to happen.  
''I... don't know.'' I gulp heavily, not knowing how to get the pressure out of my head.  
''Don't you usually always have a plan?'' Will appears next to me as we start to walk out of the camp, away from the safe zone, away from Thalia's former Tree and off to a the Quest ,,Saving Nico.... AGAIN."   
"No, Annabeth is the one with a plan." I say quietly, biting my lip subconsciously while we hurry down Half-Blood Hill and towards the forest, since that was the only possible, and kind of safe, way for a demigod to run through.  
The problem, that Nico could attract monsters easily gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. Comparable with pain.

"Guys!" Will suddenly shouts when we step into the forest. Hoping he found something, we hurry to Will, but I groan when I realize it's just a simple ring which is shining in the sun.  
"No, seriously, look guys!" Will carries on and picks up the ring. Nearly punching me in the face by doing that.  
''What?'' Annabeth frowns, not knowing more than me apparently.  
"It's one of Nico's rings. If you look correctly, you can see the engraving in the inside." He passes the ring around and only now, I realize what I am seeing. Maybe we are closer to Nico, than we think.

"Okay, let's hurry into the direction it seems to be logical." I say. Determined, to find Nico before anything could happen to him.  
If I am being completely honest, I just want to hug him and not let him go ever. That is all I want right now.

"If we calculate it correctly, it must have flown..." Annabeth and Will start to make out the direction, but I get distracted by something like a shred in one of the branches. 

A blackish material is floating, stuck between two small branches. As I make myself as tall as possible and grab after the thing, I recognize it almost immediately. Nearly no one of camp wears that. Sad about the button, though. Before you question, it's Nico's. The small button on the black cotton fabric shows a scratched image of a skull head. What was once shiny and easily seeable, is now only a broken, metallic mess. I put it into my pocket, trying to at least have something from him with me.

"There we go. Come on!" Will hurries forward and I grab after my ,,pen" and am ready to uncap it any second if necessary.   
"We have something which could get use closer, if he really went here." Annabeth explains while we run through the forest like some frightened chickens. Our running turns into sprinting, and soon we are the end of the forest. Now standing in front of a hill which seems to be going down steeply. 

Not hesitating a single moment, I slide down the slightly wet, from the rain of the night before, hill and gasp out of reflex when I reach the clearing.  
The others follow quite fast, also giving weird sounds off from themselves while arriving down. 

''Where now?" I ask impatiently and look around, the pen in my left hand, and the button in my pocket, held by my left hand tightly.  
"My feeling tells me we must be close." Will is now speaking more quiet, glancing around in fear that something could attack us any second.   
"Tell your feeling to hurry a bit." I huff, biting my lip nervously.

All the missions I had been there, never felt like the one now. 

"Shut it. We are nearly there." Will begins to walk into some direction and me and Annabeth follow quietly.

Please, be here somewhere.


	19. Chapter 19

Did you ever think about what you would do, if you would have to decide between a hedge with thorns and a bunch of raging doctors following you through a maze, which is kind of a labyrinth? Because I could really use some help here right now. 

As I see the giant hedge in front of me, I feel my heart sink deeply. A dead end.   
The voices from the people- doctors- behind me seem to get closer, so I see myself forced to do what I do next.  
With a big step, I get myself into the hedge and suppress a painful gasp when the thorns strike over my skin and don't stop. Holding my right hand over my mouth, I close my eyes shut for avoiding to make any sound, thereof the painful new thorn marks on my entire body just keep hurting more than before.   
Helplessness climbs up my throat and a suffocated sob escapes me. 

"Where is he?!" The first voice appears closer to me and I hold my breath now completely.  
"Here is a dead end, he must be here." Another masculine voice is audible. This time right in front of me, and I open my eyes but regret it immediately. 

What I see in this moment is two men standing right in front of me. Gladly, they aren't able to hear me at all. I feel how I am slowly but surely running out of time and I attempt to back off, not expecting the thorns to be that sharp there.  
A suffocated, painful gasp slips out of me and I feel tears welling up in my eyes again while my left hand slaps over my mouth for shutting myself up.

"There was a sound!" The voice exclaims and I close my eyes in despair. I don't know, how long I can still do this. How long I can keep quiet and suppress the pain. I just don't know. 

"Search the hedges!" Someone gives the command and I hot tears start to run down my cold cheeks. Creating an uncomfortable feeling while my back is being scratched open by the sharp thorns.

After the steps disappear again, I let out a sob and crawl up in a ball. Not caring, at the some thorns anymore. I am lost anyways. Thoughts are sprinting through my brain, until I get an idea.   
With a gasp, I grab after my bag and pull out the golden drachma I have left. To my unusual luck, it is already raining and I could maybe connect myself with someone.

But they don't care about you, Nico. My mind tells me, but I shake my head and throw the drachma while speaking. "O goddess iris, accept my offering." The drachma disappears and I speak with a shaking voice the last part. "Show me Percy Jackson." 

Withing milliseconds, the picture is created and a completely messy and exhausted Percy is seeable.  
My words are stuck in my throat, when I notice the worry in his face.

"Nico!" He suddenly shouts and I flinch at his voice.  
"What?!" Another voice is audible and Will appears in the picture.   
"Annabeth! It's Nico!" Will screams and I sigh quietly.  
"Where are you?" Percy's eyes seem to suddenly have a hopeful gleam and I can't put let the exhaustion take me over and the rest of the tears drop down my face.  
"I- I- sorry," I gulp heavily, trying to hide my face. "I don't know." I admit with a heavy heart and don't dare to look up.  
"We are close, I promise." Percy says determined but I can't believe him. Why should I?  
"Wait, why are you in a hedge?" Annabeth asks and I shake my head slightly.  
"Long story."  
"We'll get you, okay?" Will shows me thumbs up and I smile weakly.   
"I ran away from a hospital and now I'm hiding from the staff in a labyrinth." I blurt out and start to shiver by the memories of it.  
"Wait, here's a hospital close to us!" Will notices and I suddenly feel a bust of hope inside of me.  
"The connection-!" Percy shouts, but the picture is already gone.

And I'm alone again.


End file.
